NCJ Number
201522
Journal
Corrections Today Volume: 65 Issue: 4 Dated: July 2003 Pages: 98,100
Date Published
July 2003
Length
2 pages
Annotation
This article discusses shame as part of communication that gives the message of devaluing an adolescent.
Abstract
Children that are not seen as valuable or that are given devaluing messages will likely have self-esteem issues. They may have difficulty measuring their worth from within and live in a world of comparisons. Control issues are common for youths with little sense of their value. Any criticism unsettles them and makes them feel powerless. Neglect, and physical or sexual abuse of a child always carry a message that they are not worth protecting. Youths without protection have boundary issues. Their boundaries seem rigid, allowing no one to get close to them; they might appear to be nonexistent or they might be a combination of the two. Many children are punished for mistakes. The accompanying message is that perfection is achievable. These youths will struggle with perfection, which is a distortion of reality. Children are often expected to give up their own needs and wants for the benefit of the adults in their lives. Wants and needs do not go away; when ignored, they surface in other ways. People that have denied their wants and needs may look very needy and dependent, or they may have a veneer of independence that displays no want or need, but only covers up their neediness. When children are emotionally abused and shamed, they have roadblocks to a healthy sense of self. Much of the acting out seen in incarcerated youths has its roots in the confusion of their identity by shame. Staff must find ways to communicate to youths that they are valuable, they deserve protection, their mistakes are part of their humanity, their wants and needs are worthy of help, and the child within them is a precious part of who they are.