NCJ Number
102447
Journal
Mediation Quarterly Issue: 13 Dated: (Fall 1986) Pages: 89-96
Date Published
1986
Length
8 pages
Annotation
This paper discusses what preparing budgets for living apart can and cannot accomplish for a divorcing couple, and how and when the mediator can use this information.
Abstract
Divorce mediators typically ask each of the parties to prepare budgets for themselves, providing forms for the task at the conclusion of the first session. The next session and often several succeeding ones are used to review the budgets. Such budget discussions are usually a waste of time and exacerbate the hurt and anger brought to mediation. The goals of mediation are better served by beginning with areas where the couple's common interests are greatest, such as addressing the children's needs and what is to be done about the house. When it appears that progress in the mediation depends on an assessment of the couple's financial needs and resources, the mediator may suggest that many couples have found it helpful to prepare a budget of expenses and income. Such budgets, however, do not resolve problems so much as define them. The mediator can use the budgets to show that one or both parties have expenses that exceed income. This presents a problem the parties must resolve by determining how they may either cut expenses, increase income, or both. Spousal support thus becomes a problem to be solved rather than an area where the parties seek to punish one another.