NCJ Number
144910
Date Published
1989
Length
138 pages
Annotation
Written primarily for women who have been or are being abused by violent men, this book examines why men are violent, the signs of lethal violence, the likelihood that the violent behavior will stop, and how abused women can most effectively respond to the violent behavior to both help the man and protect themselves.
Abstract
Part One examines the factors that contribute to violent behavior by men toward women and how it occurs. The author argues that male violence toward women is a symptom of American society's tendency to devalue, subject, and control women. There are particular circumstances that fuel this tendency, such as alcohol abuse and stress. The primary factor, however, is a widespread distorted sense of masculinity that drives many men to be violent, abusive, and controlling of women. Part Two considers whether or not violent men can and will change their abusive behavior. The author advises that there are various types of violent men, each with different prospects for change and needs for various types of help; some do stop their violence; others stop their physical violence but continue to be emotionally and verbally abusive; and a few men change dramatically in both attitude, behavior, and values. The crucial element in change is the man's acceptance of responsibility for his own behavior and a significant appreciation of the fact that there is no acceptable reason for violent behavior. An abused woman can best facilitate change in the man's behavior by warning the man that the violence must stop; refusing to take the blame for the man's behavior; informing family, friends, and social services agencies about any violence or threat of violence; specifying to the man what action she will take if the violence continues (leaving the home, calling the police, bringing charges); and following through on these actions. These actions force the man to seek help to change his behaviors if he wishes to maintain a relationship with his wife. Appended profiles of helping organizations and a 29-item annotated bibliography